i don't have much to say, but I certainly am freaking out ... which is always enjoyable. more on this later.
there was a fashion show a few days ago, at which I was tricked (yes, tricked) into performing. I expected to be one of a crowd, but with the exception of a group of semi-professional hip-hop dancers, I was the sole (i believe) person to do anything other than just walk (sashay?) down the 3 dents.
What was great, though, was that even though I was barely able to practice and even though I was surrounded by people that I could confidently assume were judging me (and my distinct lack of model physique) and even though there was a good chance that I was going to back step my way off the catwalk, I felt surprising calm.
Now, back in high school I desperately wanted to be in one of the plays but was completely unable to even try-out. My fear of being judged (and found lacking) was debilitating. So, what am I to make of my latest foray. As I came out into the crowd, Harmonkey's mom told me I should be in theatre. She seems to have a way of saying what people want to hear but I wonder.
My four goals, then: perform surgery, act in a play, design my own clothes, work for the UN.
those seem like achievable goals now.
good.
studying goes slowly. that causes the freakouts.
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