tucker max is a bad influence

I was introduced somewhat recently to the entertaining writings of one Tucker Max. If you haven't heard of him, you should check out his blog. He is a drunk, philandering asshole who got a book deal.

Anyway, I think he is great.

So, I was in Toronto with Mark and Leslie and we started off the night doing various shots of everything. Wine, vodka, bourbon, etc. We seemed to be matching shot for shot, but I soon realised that I was slurring and they were not. I tried to hide it.

We left the apartment. I am not sure where we were going, but we did have our squash racquets.

We came across a graffiti covered alley and stopped to play squash. I believe the allay was actually a garage for ambulances because every now and then an ambulance would leave from the garage behind me. The paramedics were, as I remember, nice. And I was nice to them. Squash continued.

Strangers, coming across a tall curly headed man and his obviously drunk friend playing squash in an alley from where ambulances were emerging, stopped in interest. Matt's emulation of TM started. I told everyone who stopped, in no uncertain terms, to Fuck Off, because we were trying to play a fucking squash game. I yelled at them until they left. It was pretty funny. Apparently, some of the fake anger was lost because I couldn't stop laughing. Still, they left.

We moved onto a bar which had obviously been the site of some sort of reception, or at least that is what makes the most sense because I found a bunch of great food scattered around the place and brought it back to our table. I mean like full plates of vegetables and dip. The friends didn't exactly like me stealing food but they didn't exactly not eat it.

I faded pretty quickly after that. But I think I can build up a better tolerance. And then I could be an asshole all night. I am way too nice a guy.

The next day, with my mother, I went out to the Art Gallary of Ontario, went to an excellent Italian restaurant (we had risotto), went swimming and was in bed by 12. The next, next day Mark, Leslie, my mother and I went for yummy breakfast and then we went to Niagra Falls. See what I mean? Too nice. I haven't yelled at any strangers for like 3 days. Terrible.

niagara

I have been.

What a strange place. The falls are, as expected, beautiful, but the city and culture that has sprung up around it is incredibly weird.

Casino's and Spiderman Rides and Butterfly Gardens and Parrots. All things I would expect to be related to a large waterfall.

in online

According to Ian Davis, the managing director of McKinsey (guess where I have been spending my online time) "12 per cent of American newlyweds last year met online."

What?

12% is like 250,000 - 300,000 marriages.

I think that is a tad depressing. I have a few friends and acquaintances who are out exploring the world (zeemer: ASIA!!!) and lament the fact that people in North America are not as friendly or outgoing with strangers as they are in other places. I brushed it off because it is so easy to make friends in all of the life experiences I have had so far (travelling, university, roomate filled accomodation) but 12% is a scary figure. 12% of people obviously looking for a long term relationship had to resort to anonymous communication to actually meet a person.

Shit ... we have to introduce more community. Grandparents first, then strangers. There is no reason why people cannot be meeting people around them.

Of course, I hate it when strangers bug me. Fucking strangers. I am reading something asshole. Can't you see the fucking earphones?

Whatever happened to that book project where everyone was supposed to read the same book so we would have something in common other than a general feeling of distaste for americans?

People should be required to talk on buses. I am going to start talking to people on buses. I will tell you how it goes.

posting problems

some (lots) of all y'all have no real idea what my past and future chemistry research involves. I won't be doing it for much longer, but here is an accessible piece about the future of the research.

NAMD, the simulation program to which they refer, uses the CHARMM force field. I will be working on a competing force field, AM1.

floating furniture

i want all my furniture to be floating:

in the heat of the night

Montreal was freaking great. The city itself is dirty as fuck, although that is probably due to the recent thaw. They have the parisian mindset that dogs can shit everywhere and humans just have to deal with it. The best part is when you see bags of dog shit on the pavement - the owners were considerate enough to bag but still just left the bag on the street.

The architecture and graffiti are so interesting. I was staying at a place in the plateau and the buildings are all gorgeous. I think I am going to try and find a place there. It will be expensive, but it is close to everything fun.

The people I hung out with were all medical students and were just great. Extremely smart, interesting, accomplished and excited. They all loved what they were doing. I felt good in their midst. I think they liked me. They better have fucking liked me. Why is medical school still a draw? fucking medical school. Two of the people I met and spent a long time talking to were both around 28 and in their second year. They had been teachers for 5 years before moving onto medicine. so, in conclusion, who knows.

The miami vice theme (which was the theme of the main party) was great. To prepare we spent a few hours dressing up at Value Village and then we played Miami Vice drinking games. Miami vice, it turns out, is a great show. The drinking game is hard. Tubbs never talks. Nobody got my joke about Tubbs telling people that his name was Mr. Tubbs. Come on. He is a black detective from the south. Fuck em. Miami Vice is corrupting. I think I may change my wardrobe to miami vice.

The weekend was marked by excessive meat consumption. I broke my vegetarianism a little, but not as much as expected. I had told myself that I could make an exception for a Shwartz's (sp?) Smoked Meat Sandwich, but when I got into the restaurant I couldn't order. I settled for a bite of a friends. It was amazingly tatsy, but didn't feel right. I may really be a vegetarian. Damn. I made up for the lack of meat by consuming an unhealthy amount of cheese. We hit up a cheese market and I picked up 4 great cheeses for 10 bucks. I am in trouble. We also bought loads of regional beers. I am in trouble on that front as well. Regional beers are hit or miss but when they hit - wow.

We had to stay in montreal an extra day because two or our tires were
slashed. We think they were slashed at Value Village and because our car had Ontario plates. Mark, the guy we stayed with, thinks it might have been because he shot an unseen dirty look at a bunch of french teens. Mark has issues.

photos should be posted shortly.

brief brief brief

just got back from montreal, a day late because out car tires were slashed, with an embarrasing story:

we drove to montreal in leslie's parent's truck, which they very nicely lent to us. back in toronto, we dropped the car off and engaged in small talk with the parents. as we were talking, their small poodle-esque dog came in and did the excited small dog thing. I picked it up because it was adorable.

the rest of the weekend, it is important to stress, was a cat weekend. Battle-cat and Gunther ruled the apartment we stayed at in montreal. they were also adorable and needed to be picked up. cats, i have been told more than once, always land on their feet, so I had no problem dropping the cats when I was bored of them. they did always land on their feet. everything was great.

this dog was cat size. and when I bored of it, I dropped it. Dogs are not as agile in the air as cats.

leslie and friend looked at me in amazement, the mother stared daggers at me and the father said, and I quote, 'if that was my dog, i would have punched you.'

and to make things worse, the dog just kept growling at me. he hated me.

to the vector go the spoils

It's long-ish, but is charmingly british. or maybe charmingly 1965. top grossing films in 1965. the sound of music won an academy award? who knew.

this is great. all of their songs are great.